Accepting ourselves

How many times do you hear a person saying they want to improve? Probably many times. But do you hear those exact words? No, usually it's a list of what is wrong with them delivered in an aplogising tone, or in an upset tone, or maybe even in a disappointed tone. But what is this about?

Does it really take negativity to change? Did it help you so far?
It's normal for us to judge ourselves. I wouldn't go as far as to say that it is in human nature, but it has been brought up upon us by our environment, centuries throughout centuries.

Since you were really young you probably were compared, measured upon, and graded. But think about it, was it really for negativity? No, it wasn't. When you were small your parents, or whoever that took care of you, compared you to others in order to make sure you were healthy and you were growing up well. At school you were graded and it was done so you were ready to be out there, in the world, all by yourself.

Of course throughout time, people forgot that it was there as a beneficial action and now you HAVE to go to school. If you have lower grades, it no longer means that you are not ready to deal with certain subjects, suddenly it "means" you are stupid, a failure and etc, etc, etc.

Allow yourself to take a look at this, allow yourself to feel all the negativity that you have gathered, but don't hold on to it. Let it go. And open your eyes to a whole new meaning.

Think again.

Now one step at a time, I will share my thoughts with you. And hopefully those, will lead you into a more positive outlook. I am not saying it will be a right outlook, I am not saying that yours was wrong. But mines maybe slightly more positive, and then again I say maybe.

Think about yourself. But think objectively. Think about what you like and what do you dislike about yourself. Now think about food, or clothes, or anything else that you have developped a taste upon and ask yourself do you like every food that there is? every possible outfit? every furniture? every color? The chances are that there are things you like and there are things you don't like. Do you get upset if there exists a piece of clothing that you don't find to your taste? or that there is food that exists, that almost make you puke at the thought? Maybe sometimes you do, but I am sure there are at least a time or two, when you are capable of disliking something without feeling upset, angry or disappointed about it.

Same here. Let go of your negative emotions. Instead of thinking about the habits you want to change, think about the habits that you want to acquire. Moreover, don't concentrate on the end results. By doing so, you are only discouraging yourself, by reminding yourself how far you are from them. Instead think about the habits you want to develop and enjoy them instead. Accept your desire to change, by allowing yourself to make changes in your lifestyle, by exploring various approaches at developping the habits you wish you possessed. But while doing that, don't forget to accept your mistakes, don't forget to accept your set backs. Remember that lifetime is precious, whatever you acquire during life, isn't worth it, unless you do it with pleasure.

If you find it difficult to develop a habit, persistently work on it, but don't get upset with yourself. It isn't fair to you. Whatever goal you put ahead of yourself is absolutely your decision, keep that in mind, and remember that everytime you get upset at yourself it is because of YOUR decision. So be patient with yourself.

Learn to look at where you lack, and recognize that it isn't a void, but an available space, free to fill in with any incredible thing that you want.

Whenever you feel angry or upset at yourself, think of yourself as a baby you once were. Remember that in your mind and in the mind of society you maybe count as an adult, but you are still a child of God. You are still only growing, and there is no end to this growth. With this in mind, think that all the mistakes you make, are nothing but defense mechanisms, this is your way of protecting yourself, just like a crying baby that wants a bottle, or that need his diaper changed, you too are allowed to act a certain way to protect yourself. What is important is to recognize when you do so, and think for a moment... What if there is a better way?

Don't be afraid to try things. If something didn't work, try another way. It is possible to get very comfortable with one particular way only, and we like that comfort, and there is nothing wrong with that. But just realize that when that happens, it was once again because you chose comfort over change. Is it wrong? No it isn't. If you chose that, be happy with it. It was your choice.

Accept your mistakes, accept your unwillingness, but furthermore accept your freedom by realizing that the only frames that you have are the ones you personally chosen. There are no boundaries in this world, there are only consequences. Those consequences are merely hints of what is healthier and better for us to choose, but in the end the choice is yours.

Choose to accept.

Definitions

What is acceptance and awareness?

According to Wikipedia:

"Acceptance is a person's agreement to experience a situation, to follow a process or condition often a negative or uncomfortable situation without attempting to change it, protest, or exit. "

"Awareness is the state or ability to perceive, to feel, or to be conscious of events, objects or sensory patterns. In this level of consciousness, sense data can be confirmed by an observer without necessarily implying understanding. More broadly, it is the state or quality of being aware of something. In biological psychology, awareness is defined as a human's or an animal's perception and cognitive reaction to a condition or event."

However if I were to put it in my own words, it would sound like the following.

Acceptance is the absence of resistance against anyone or anything as well as it is the absence of forcing of someone or something. I'd even go as far as to say it's not only the unwillingness to change the situation but as well as the feeling of gratefulness towards it.

Awareness on the other hand is a detail-oriented concentration on the present moment. It's the act of paying attention to what is going on around you as well as within you.

In fact, so far I have been more or less aware about what is going on around me. This year, I would really like to concentrate for a change on what is going on within me. Above all I would like to practice inner awareness.

Moreover, I believe those two qualities go hand in hand. I don't believe it is possible to be fully aware if you are not one hundred percent accepting (you may be in the state of denial), as well as it's hard to accept something you are not aware of.

If you have anything to add to the definitions mentioned above, please be my guest, any commentary and any thought is very appreciated.

Thank you,
Irina.

Introduction

Welcome dear 2011,

The year of the rabbit. Judging by the horoscope it seems like such a fluffy, innocent and a fast paced year.

The previous year, the year of the tiger, I have lost my temper on so many occasions and made so many rush judgements. This new year's resolution is to open up to new experiences, to become more accepting and more aware.

And it has just begun along with this blog and along with this year.

Happy New Year Everyone!!!

Lots of love,

Irina.